Most of my pals know I’ve got a few stories up my sleeves and I decided it was time to share one with my blog world. As with most stories, there is a little bit of a back story that I must first explain. My mother and I have a habit of punking each other. It all started when I was ten years old and decided to have a seance party in my closet with three other friends. We were sitting cross legged in the closet attempting to channel the ghosts of Amelia Earhart and Marilyn Monroe when she walked by and heard our chants. She couldn’t resist and popped into her closet which was directly adjacent to mine and started moaning like a ghost. Well, I promise to re-tell this seance story in full detail some other day…but needless to say, she got me to attend church that entire month! I got her back with fake tattoos, fake nose piercings, and the best comeback of all was my wedding invitations.
I went to college on the East coast and a year after college, my sister convinced me to move to Seattle with her. I landed in the Pacific NW and instantly fell in love…with the city of Seattle and a Seattle native named Stupe (real name Steve). We dated for three years and on a weekend trip to San Francisco he proposed to me. The date was set for Rocktober and the planning began. Now…my mom tends to be a VERY traditional gal and I tend to….not be one. She prefers chintz and oriental carpets and I prefer Marimekko and Picasso. When I started telling her details about the wedding I could tell she was nervous. She seemed most nervous about the invitations, as in American society, the daughter’s wedding invitation…consists of too many envelopes and cards written in calligraphy on fine linen paper, mailed out to ANYONE and EVERYONE the parents have ever known. However…I wanted something unique…
Each week I spoke to my mom she kept hounding me about the invitations.
Phone conversation with my mom…
ME: Hi Freaky! What’s up?
MOM: Hi Goober…have you decided on what you’re going to do about your wedding invitations?
ME: Oh don’t worry, we’ve got our pal Horhay whipping something up for us and then we’ll figure it out.
MOM: Ummm…like what kind of thing is he whipping up? Are you printing them yourselves? (COMPLETE hesitation in her voice)
ME: Ha, don’t worry…I promise not to use glue, tape or glitter…but I am using construction paper and stickers…I’ll make it look GREAT! (big smirk)
So…after hearing the dismay in her voice…I just couldn’t resist. I grabbed the construction paper, searched for some clip art and sent the invitation below. I addressed the envelope upside down and put the stamp on crooked. I was laughing hysterically all the while doing this. Off it went in the mail to Virginia….
We be getting married!
When: October 25th
Where: Fauntleroy Chapel, West Seattle, WA
Time: 5:00 pm
The Bride and Groom are registered at
Macy’s and the Bon Marche
Please send all gifts to the address below:
315 ½ Crockett Street
Seattle, WA 98109
Reception immediately following……
Several days passed and I called my parents. No one picked up so I had to leave messages. I was dying to hear her reaction. I finally called my sister to see if she had heard any news on the invitation.
ME: Hey Gretchen…do you know if mom received my wedding invitation yet?
GRETCHEN: Ummmm…yeah (hesitant voice). We NEED to talk…
ME: Wait…hold on…she knew it was a joke…right?
GRETCHEN: (LAUGHTER ERUPTS into SHRIEKS).
ME: Oh…lovely…she thought that lame invitation was REAL? (me…starting to realize that my family really has no faith in me)
My mother eventually chuckled and finally came around by the time she got the actual invitation…and…she was thrilled with the results!
We put our good pal, illustrator George Pfromm to work and he created THE perfect wedding card illustration! It was retro, it had a spaceman, a cocktail, perversion, and of course a computer (Stupe is an IT geek). In case you’re wondering…the wedding was great, although I often find myself dreaming about how I would have tweaked certain details…like cloning myself so the fake me could sit in the wedding dress smiling and shaking hands, whilst the REAL me could have swigged a few more drinks and chatted with more of my pals. C’est la vie!